Pinky Swear

Remember when becoming friends involved either playing together at recess or riding bikes in your neighborhood? Remember the whole friendship bracelet craze? I even shared a locket with one of my friends (awkward that I cannot remember her name) where she had half the heart with the word "best" on it and I had the other half with "friends". Isn't that cute? Conflict at this stage involved pushing, shoving, not taking turns, or quite honestly, just finding a better playmate. What about the pinky swear? Nothing said commitment like a good tug on some interlocked little fingers!

Friendship evolved into finding people who most resembled us as we bounced around between identities as an adolescent. Peer influence took precedence over all other voices and that's why choices in friends at this age determines the path and choices of many people in this age group. Conflict in this stage involved boyfriends and girlfriends swapping boyfriends and girlfriends, comparing abilities in the classroom, on the field, or in appearance. The message about looking out for number one and being the best overturned the "take turns", now "share" talk from grade school.

Then, we mature into adults (I'm being slightly sarcastic). Friends often become co-workers or become other couples for couples and other singles for singles. We often think we have outgrown the selfishness, the pettiness, and the comparing - we also think we know how to navigate finding a better playmate. In all honesty, though, do we really get better at this? And what determines our ability or inability to be a good friend? I have no incredible insight into this except to say - I think the kind of friend you are determines the kind of friendships you experience. There's a saying, "To have good friends, you have to be a good friend." I have no clue who coined that phrase, but there's really a lot of wisdom in it. I quoted this to a friend the other day who told me I was being a good friend. I responded that I was a "product of her investment".

I found a website with a list describing characteristics of good friends. The site lists it for grades K-5, but I found it relevant no matter what the age. One of my favorites was that "good friends give each other room to change." That's so great. The phrase reeks of grace. If you're married, that's a keeper, too.

I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately. Mainly, I've been so grateful for mine. If I could lock them up and keep them forever I would (it sounds a little twisted, but I mean it in the most endearing way!). They love me and boy are they different from me. That's my favorite part. When we all sit around and talk I feel like I get the most complete picture of the image of God I ever see.

Who are your friends? Do you let people know you once you've established trust? What kinds of friends do you have? Maybe more importantly, what kind of friend are you?
Exodus 33:11 says that "The LORD would speak with Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend." Oh to be Moses! James 2:23 says, "And the scripture was fulfilled that says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,' and he was called God's friend." Oh to be Abraham! Our God is most certainly your friend. He exceeds the list I mentioned earlier. He offers more than anyone. He lets his yes be yes and his no be no. He doesn't need the pinky swear!
Like anything else in following Jesus, He doesn't expect us to do or be anything He has not already done or been for us. He has been a good friend, so if we've experienced that, we should be a good friend to Him. What does that look like for you?
For me it looks like listening better to Him, asking Him what He thinks more often, and talking to Him first when things in life go haywire or just frustrate the dickens out of me!
Try friendship with God if you do not already know it, or if you do, try being a better friend to God - today! Experiencing the friendship of God changes everything - pinky swear.