So I'm going to start by telling on myself. Let me preface by saying, I am not proud of the moments I am about to share with you, nor do I hope to repeat them, but they unlocked a great opportunity with my six-year old that is worth repeating.
Last night when I got home from church I launched into a dissertation about why the clothes my husband picked out for my kids to wear to church were, ummmm, how do I say - less than what I had hoped they would be. Okay, I'm sugarcoating. I thought the clothes he picked out were the most wrong choices he could have possibly made and I communicated that thoroughly in front of my kids. Ugh. I made a mountain out of a molehill and had to apologize to him and my kiddos for the words that came out of my mouth about - of all things - clothes.
The truth is, my kids don't care and Dock only cares because I care. Does anyone else see the problem here? It's me! Ugh, again.
You know that part in the Gospels where Jesus talks about not worrying about what you eat or drink or wear? That truth totally escaped me last night. The truth is, God doesn't particularly care what my kids wear either. And, I can assure you He was less than impressed by how upset I became over such a temporary thing. Still, He loves me - and as I'm about to share - so does my family. Oh sweet grace.
I started by apologizing to my oldest while tucking her in. My confession went simply, "Hey, Mommy should not have spoken unkindly about what Daddy put you in for church. I'm sorry I did that. Will you forgive me?" Ave quickly responded, "Yes" and then I added, "That was kind of a silly thing to get upset about." With more gusto, Avery simply said, "Yea, it really was, Mom." With that kick in the gut silently processed I was so glad that she was honest with me and that she had the chance to watch her mom be completely in the wrong. Yes, you read that right. I'm glad she knows I was wrong. How else could she learn to fail or to ask for forgiveness or know that even when she's wrong that we can still come out okay on the other side of reconciliation?
I'm not glad I got upset about clothing or that I spoke unkindly to Dock in front of my kids, but it ended up being good to be wrong. I still wrestle with failure. I wrestled with it as a child and still as an adult. Some call it perfectionism, I call it "REOO" - ridiculous expectations of oneself". I do not like to fail and can be really devastated when I do. That is a legacy not worth passing onto my kids. I want them to know how to fail and to trust in a God unhindered by failure because ultimately He was victorious through Christ. I want them to learn it before they have to unlearn "REOO" like their mom. So, it was good to be wrong.
But next week, I'm laying out the clothes... ;)
