Grumpy Bear

Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's sleep deprivation from staying up too late last night. Maybe it's another movement in this process called grief I'm walking through. Whatever it is...grumpy bear was in the house today. More particularly, in my house walking around in my body!
I must admit, the cuddly bear image hardly fit today. I've tried to review the day and I don't think I spoke too harshly to anyone although I was shorter than usual with my children, but I managed to hold it together.

I think I just identified the problem. I tried to hold it together today. I totally know better. How quickly I forget that my confession of weakness immediately sets God's power in motion. Wish I had remembered that 13 hours ago!

So here's the thing. We all get grumpy. We all get needy. We all get irritated. I wonder what Jesus did when he felt grumpy, needy and irritated? In my opinion these feelings are not in and of themselves sin. I think they just make us more likely to sin! I wonder what Jesus did because if he really was human and was really tempted in every way like us (Hebrews 2:18; Hebrews 4:15 - look them up), then he also did something about it in order to not sin. That answer is not directly in front of us in Scripture like, "Jesus got grumpy so he went and..." It's just not in there. But, in the words of a wise friend, "What do we know to be true?" We know Jesus did not sin. We know He understands every aspect of being human. Even as I type that I marvel that a holy, magnificent, all-knowing, creating God would send a part of Himself to take a 33 year vacation from heaven in a human body. What I know to be true is that He is the source of everything I need. He has made available to me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). He is able, I am not. Jesus knew the "able-ness" of God better than anyone and retreated often to spend time with the most renewable resource of all time.

So, where does this leave me tonight? Well, honestly, Dock's going to get me a Butterfinger blizzard. Not the small - the medium. That ought to take some of the edge off!

In all seriousness, it leaves me here: I need to remember to need God. That need should send me running (or sulking/fuming) straight into His presence to say - "I don't have what it takes to do today, so will you help me?" There is a forever yes at the end of that last question offered by a God who gets us. I must literally cling to the truth that His grace is sufficient and that its sufficiency is manifested in the power He supplies when we don't have what it takes. It's grace, people, the sufficiency of grace. So rather than beat myself up for what a bear I've been internally (and on one or two occasions externally) today, I'm going to say now, "I need you God. I need the sufficiency of your grace to give me the power I can only have through you to compensate for my glaring weaknesses!"

Probably ought to let grumpy bear know he's been overruled. I'll tell him between bites of blizzard.